Santa Claus and Satan’s Cause: Apparently Santa is a false god and there are people out there worshiping him. Or something. It’s not too clear. I’m assuming this is in jest, since nobody in their right mind could take this seriously. After all, everybody grows out of their belief in Santa sooner or later, so it’s not like sane adults are wandering around preaching praise of Santa. Nor does believing in Santa lead to worship of Satan – ask any Satanist if St. Nick and the devil are the same entity, and they’ll laugh in your face…and probably be offended that you take the devil so lightly as to accuse him of being a mere child’s fantasy. After all, they say the greatest trick the devil ever played on the world was convincing it he did not exist.

I do have to take to task some of the claims in this, however satirical they may be:

Tradition holds that Santa Claus lives at the North Pole, a place ABOVE the rest of us. North isn’t up. Nobody thinks that by going up you get to North. North is only up on a map that’s on a vertical surface. Even children aren’t stupid enough to think that North is above anybody. If that was true then Alaska would be a more popular hangout for celebrities.

Santa has the ability to defy the laws of gravity and fly around giving gifts to people. No he doesn’t, his reindeer do. And nowhere have I heard that Santa is the cause for their ability to fly, just that he makes use of their innate abilities to deliver his toys. And if this is such a problem, why isn’t anybody suing My Little Pony for their mass marketed winged horse toys?

Webster, 1828: “ELF…a spirit, the night-mar; a ghost, hag, witch” 1828, eh? Was the whole elf idea added to the myth that long ago? And did anybody ever imply that they were supposed to be ghosts or witches? Besides, they left out another definition listed in that same dictionary – a diminutive person. What’s so evil about diminutive people? I imagine the community of those afflicted with dwarfism might take offense at being called hags and ghosts.

Again, I like to think this is a farce (considering it’s on a Baptist website I’m starting to wonder), and if it’s not, well, I guess there are just those people in this world with too much time on their hands and a willingness to take offense at anything they come across, no matter how harmless. Maybe one day they’ll realize that children can tell the difference between fantasy and reality – often better than adults.