So it turns out that The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan, an “unauthorized documentary” about the director’s life on the Sci Fi channel, was a complete fraud. There is no buried secret, there was no drowned child in Night’s past, and his movies are not in any way autobiographical except that they take place in his hometown of Philadelphia. I saw this last night. It was awful. Its attempts at appearing factual made Michael Moore look like National Geographic. Why would you film a conversation with your boss about the documentary you’re making? Why would a house that’s been more or less empty for the last 20 years still have a rather large amount of belongings in it, including things like paper towels which would have been chewed up by bugs and rodents by now? How could an 11-year-old child handle a camera during the 1970s (a time before camcorders), and why would his mother be wearing suspiciously modern clothing? The ending was even worse: the filmmakers wandered around on the street and asked random strangers whether they believed in the supernatural. I wanted to stab forks in my eyes.
Tag Archives: movies
Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!
Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!: Had I not been a captive audience on a transcontinental flight I would have never seen this film. It was pretty generic as romantic comedies go, with Rosalie bearing even more resemblence to a supermodel than most extraordinary-things-happening-to-ordinary-women stories. It took away from what scant realism there was, and I felt like I was watching a Marysue (which, in the fanfic world, is when the author writes a poorly-disguised version of herself into the story, usually as a way of writing out a personal fantasy). Maybe I’ve just been travelling in the wrong social circles, but I’ve never met any men who acted even remotely like the romantic, emotional, and persistent Pete. Which is interesting, considering he was probably one of the more believable and likeable characters, mostly because he bore such a strong resemblence to Topher Grace’s character on That 70s Show. And speaking of him, what kind of a name is Topher anyway? It’s stupid…and even stupider if it’s supposed to be short for Christopher. Topher is the kind of name I’d give my dog. Funny actor, though.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: From the first moments I could sense the new director. The whole look and feel was completely different from the first two films, at times bearing a strong resemblance to the work of Tim Burton. I liked it, over all – it’s been so many years since I read the book that I had no quibbles with any deviations from the text save Hermione’s marked lack of exhaustion (which, if you’ve read the book, you’ll probably notice as well). Otherwise, I thought it was fantastic. The computer graphics were remarkable. I found the fake people in the Quidditch match of the first film so obvious as to be distracting, but the Whomping Willow and hippogriff here were so well-integrated and gorgeously rendered I almost forgot they weren’t really there. I approve of the new director, though he says he has no intention of tackling the fourth film. The old Hogwarts felt more like a fantastic themepark exhibit, somewhere I’d love to visit but could never imagine as real. The Hogwarts of this film, however, had a more organic feel and its rich and sometimes dark history was much more evident, without losing the same magical air of the first two films. There is no question that this film was darker, but so was the book – the series has been growing increasingly more complex and angstful as it goes on. The characters are growing up and feeling the complicated and sometimes overwhelming emotions of being teenagers. Harry’s story does not shy away from this reality. Perhaps in the end that is what makes it so enjoyable: we empathize with Harry and cheer him on, despite his occasional irrationality. Even in his magical world, he’s still just like us at heart.
Shrek 2
Shrek 2: I don’t usually give enough thought to coming attractions to actually look forward to the release of a new movie, but I’d been waiting for this one for months. I was not disappointed. While perhaps not as good as the first one (which was a triumph to the point of making the overuse of that word truly shameful), it had more than its fair share of laughs. The original cast returned with some new additions and, gorgeous CG animation aside, this movie would not have made it without them.
In this film, the newlyweds Shrek and Fiona visit Fiona’s (human) parents in the Kingdom of Far Far Away, who are unaware of Fiona’s transformation into an ogre. They are, needless to say, a tad disappointed. Enter the scheming Fairy Godmother (brilliantly voiced by Jennifer Saunders of Ab Fab fame) who wants Fiona to marry her Abercrombie-model-esque son, Prince Charming. Throw in a couple of magic potions and Puss in Boots, the assassin with the heart of gold (Antonio Banderas, who is surprisingly funny), and you’ve got mass hysteria…and hilarity. My favorite part: Puss’s cute kitty stare. I still smile just thinking about it.
Van Helsing
Van Helsing is a very silly movie. The basic premise: Gabriel van Helsing is a centuries-old demon fighter who works for an underground order of religious folk dedicated to the fight against evil. He had his memories erased for some reason they never explained. At the beginning of the movie he battles Mr. Hyde (of Jekyll & Hyde fame) before being sent on to Romania to battle Dracula. The famous Count is holed up in Frankenstein’s castle, trying to use the technology that created Frankenstein’s monster to animate his children (who are born dead and bear a remarkable resemblance to gargoyles). Oh yeah, and he keeps werewolves as attack dogs. I felt like I was watching an elaborate piece of fanfiction.
The acting was ridiculously melodramatic and probably intentionally so, but the tongue-in-cheek factor was too low otherwise, making the overacting appear as if it was meant to be taken seriously. To its credit, the score was incredible (to the point that I’m thinking of buying the soundtrack, which is something I almost never do), and the CG was smoothly integrated (noticeable but not obnoxiously so). But please oh please, will somebody teach those actors how to affect a convincing Romanian accent? They sounded like James Bond extras.
Mean Girls
I never thought Tina Fey was very amusing on SNL, but her film Mean Girls (admittedly an adaptation of Rosalind Wiseman’s book rather than an original composition) is unexpectedly funny. There was little to no sexual or bathroom humor, which was a really nice change from your average high school comedy. Lindsay Lohan is a breath of fresh air from the oppressive sea of identical teen actresses out there today – this film shows that she’s pulling away from the Hillary Duffs and Mandy Moores of the world and starting to stand on her own two feet as a maturing actress. The story itself was fairly standard – new student has troubles interacting with her new classmates – but well done and full of laughs. Here’s hoping this is the start of a new trend.
Assorted Movie Reviews
I’ve been out of the country and sans internet access for the last two weeks, so instead I’m writing reviews of the movies I saw during my trip, mostly on airplanes.
Paycheck: I’d heard bad things about this movie, I admit. I’ve never been particularly impressed with Ben Affleck or Uma Thurman, either. However, this movie was much more story-driven than character-driven (as is often the way in science fiction), and that story was very interesting. Like Minority Report, the other recent movie adaption of a Philip K. Dick story, Paycheck deals with the hazards of being able to see into the future. I knew that somehow at the end the hero had to save the day and prevent all the awful things to come, but it was interesting to see how each of the objects became vital to his survival. Sure, it’s a little far-fetched that he happened to know exactly how to use each object at the precise time it was needed, but a little suspension of disbelief is required whenever dealing with a story about time travel/viewing. And I smiled with genuine pleasure at the happy ending.
Something’s Gotta Give: Funny but the premise didn’t sit quite right with me. I feel like I’ve seen Jack Nicholson in this role before – you know, the unattractive cad who somehow gets the girl in the end. Maybe I’m thinking of As Good As It Gets. Anyway, I really liked Diane Keaton in this movie. I liked her constant over-analyzing of everything that happens to her and her blatant incorporation of her experiences into her writing, which I can definitely empathize with. There were parts where I laughed out loud. All in all, it was a bit of romantic comedy fluff, which can be fun from time to time.
The Station Agent: I missed the first 20 minutes or so of this film due to technical difficulties (no sound, bad tracking), but I have to say that I did enjoy it. My only real complaint, albeit a major one, was that the film always sort of felt like it was going somewhere, but the ending was pretty abrupt and ultimately nothing happened. Oh well. I hope to see Peter Dinklage in other stuff. He’s a good actor and attractive to boot.
S1m0ne: Better than I’d expected but not as good as I’d hoped. I think I’d like to have seen it as a book, where there’s more time to develop things slowly and provide more background so the flow doesn’t seem so harried. The notion that an actress can become so obsessively beloved by the public in such a short period of time is a big stretch at best, and the rock concert was ridiculous. Somebody would have snuck in a camera or binoculars. And the fact that the virtual actress was played by a real actress takes away a lot from the whole concept of the film.
Mona Lisa Smile: I’ve never been impressed with Julia Roberts as an actor, and this film was no exception. It was an interesting look at incredibly intelligent women of the 1950s who end up basically wasting their talents on becoming housewives. The students were passably interesting but the ending was kind of blah.
In short, I’m glad I didn’t have to pay to watch any of them, though it might have been nice to watch them in the comfort of my own livingroom instead of on a three-inch screen on the back of the airplane seat in front of me.