Five years ago today I got married. It was quite the memorable weekend: the best man went crazy the night before and had to be sent away; the band had to leave early; my husband’s entire extended family – who had talked of caravaning down for months – decided at the last minute not to come or even to RSVP. I learned that I couldn’t care less about flowers and that no, really, my mother does not want to carry her own bouquet, no matter what the florist claims. We rented out a lovely bed and breakfast for the entire weekend, and in the end it was a great party: ceremony in the living room, dancing on the back deck, and everyone changing into more comfortable clothes and congregating in the kitchen to chat.
It concerns me how many people – women in particular – consider their wedding to be the most important day of their lives. The wedding is just the big party to celebrate love. Â Our wedding didn’t even mark a gigantic change in our lives, since we were already living together and had known for months we’d get married at some point. Heck, we booked the venue before Bill even officially proposed. When I drove home the day after, my biggest feeling was one of bewildered relief that I didn’t have a wedding to plan anymore. And though there were some rocky times, I can honestly say today that I love (and like!) Bill more now than I did the day we were wed, and I hope it just keeps getting better from here. He’s my very best friend, and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company – even if we’re not doing anything.
Even so, I would not consider my wedding to be the most important day of my life. I don’t divide my life into before and after I got married, or even before and after I met Bill. You know what’s the most important day of my life? Today. Because I am living it right now. It’s more important than yesterday, or tomorrow, or the day I finished graduate school, or the day my cat died, or the day I got my new job. Today is the day I have control over, to do with however I choose. Will it necessarily be the best day ever? Probably not. But it remains the very most important day of my life.
And I hope to live it as such.